I really only ask 5 things of any dog that becomes part of our family.
1. Be nice...please be nice. If you've got a mean bone in your body - drop it off at Value Village and forget you ever had it. Being nice also includes things like...snapping treats out of hands or invading personal space...Jumping and nipping and nocking people over. Be kind and gentle...not bossy or pushy or mean - don't be mean - not ever...or you can not be my dog.
2. Stay home. Please don't take off...you have a yard, it's safe - and it's pretty big too! Lots of space to run and play and poop and dig and sniff stinky things...you'll even have a Noonie next door who is happy to see you if you visit...but please don't take off. It's just so much nicer for everyone (and much safer for you) if I can trust you not to take off. A leash is a drag, I'll use one if I have to but it's less room for you and you'll be stuck in the back yard. I know it's fenced in, but if you try to escape, you'll have to be tied and that's even less space to run and play so please...just stay home.
3. Please come when I call you - that's all. I don't really care if you dont' know how to lay down or sit...roll over, play dead - doesn't really matter. Please just come when I call you. Chasing you is not fun for me...You won't like me when I catch you and it makes me like you so much less when I do. If I call you, there's a reason...just come when I call.
4. Please don't wreck my stuff. I'll give you tons of chewies...just leave Barbie's face and my purse straps and the heels of brand new Christmas Concert shoes alone. It's not too much to ask - I'll even tolerate thermos size poop and snail trails all over everything...fur balls the size of a billy goats and the most gawd awful of sinus staining farts! I'll tolerate it all...just don't wreck my stuff.
5. Have some manners - this one is a big one...and I know it mostly comes down to what I teach you, so I'll be sure and take the time to show you how to behave...but please remember your teachings. Everyone - including me - will like you soooo much more if you're polite.