Our new Satellitte system

We can pick up overseas radio stations, police scanners and predict earth quakes with this thing!

In case you have ever wondered...

Most people aren't insane enough to even think about what it would be like to have a Saint Bernard, but just in case any of you have thought about wondering what that woudl be like...well...this pic about summs it up.

God was distracted when he made Saint Bernards

I really only ask 5 things of any dog that becomes part of our family.


1. Be nice...please be nice. If you've got a mean bone in your body - drop it off at Value Village and forget you ever had it. Being nice also includes things like...snapping treats out of hands or invading personal space...Jumping and nipping and nocking people over.  Be kind and gentle...not bossy or pushy or mean - don't be mean - not ever...or you can not be my dog.

2. Stay home. Please don't take off...you have a yard, it's safe - and it's pretty big too! Lots of space to run and play and poop and dig and sniff stinky things...you'll even have a Noonie next door who is happy to see you if you visit...but please don't take off. It's just so much nicer for everyone (and much safer for you) if I can trust you not to take off. A leash is a drag, I'll use one if I have to but it's less room for you and you'll be stuck in the back yard.  I know it's fenced in, but if you try to escape, you'll have to be tied and that's even less space to run and play so please...just stay home.

3. Please come when I call you - that's all. I don't really care if you dont' know how to lay down or sit...roll over, play dead - doesn't really matter. Please just come when I call you. Chasing you is not fun for me...You won't like me when I catch you and it makes me like you so much less when I do. If I call you, there's a reason...just come when I call.

4. Please don't wreck my stuff. I'll give you tons of chewies...just leave Barbie's face and my purse straps and the heels of brand new Christmas Concert shoes alone. It's not too much to ask - I'll even tolerate thermos size poop and snail trails all over everything...fur balls the size of a billy goats and the most gawd awful of sinus staining farts! I'll tolerate it all...just don't wreck my stuff.

5.  Have some manners - this one is a big one...and I know it mostly comes down to what I teach you, so I'll be sure and take the time to show you how to behave...but please remember your teachings.  Everyone - including me - will like you soooo much more if you're polite. 

God Made puppies cute, so that you would forgive them for doing terrible things...so that when they look up at you with big sad eyes, you'd imagine that they feel awful for their crime and instantly Love them far too much to scold them.  I guess God figures that by the time they out grow the cuteness, they will have learned the house rules and figured out what's what enough that we will still marginally enjoy and (dare I say) like the grown up 4 legged fur bag they've grown into under out watch...I guess God got distracted when he made Saint Bernards...

At 115lbs, There is not enough cute in the world to help her!  She is not the sharpest crayon in the box and when she learns a "rule" she does not understand that a rule is long term.  When I tell her to get off the chair- she grumbles and moans...she creaks and groans...she sprawls and streatches and very sloooowly climbs out of the chair and wanders in whatever direction I point.  I turn my back for 2 seconds and baaaack in the chair she goes.  Again I tell her "OFF!" and she gives me a look like..."Huh?? so when you said get off the chair you didn't mean just then??"  She does have manners, but it's a full time job on my part - so I don't ever get to have fun with her cuz I'm always on "Mom" duty.

She's very friendly - but has zero concept of personal space.  She does not get that my bubble extends beyond the fabric of my clothing and must be in my way at all times - but she does not have a mean bone in her body.  When you're 12, though, and wake up at 3:00 in the morning and can't move because there's a HUGE Saint Bernard layong on your covers with her head on your pillow...drooling and snoring into your ear...chances are you don't really care that she's friendly.

She does not come when she's called.  Not only does she not come when she's called - she deliberately ignores her name.  At the dog park - strangers have to grab her for me so that I can get her out cuz she will not even acknowledge me at all.  At home, if I start listing off names of food - she'll eventually give me her attention...but only comes close enough to be sure that I'm actually holding what I named and stays 1 step out of arms reach...I like her much less when this happens.  We tie her now - when she's let out to pee.  Even then, she wont' come when we call her...unless we take a single step onto the deck.  (she has learned the she must make it to Mommy before Mommy makes it to the red rope :)

She has improved, but the road has been long and she still wrecks stuff - Ken has moved out of the dream house cuz all his shorties have chewed off hands and feet!  And - we have to keep a baby gate up in youngest kiddo's door to keep her out...cuz she will eat all her toys in no particular order and will climb on the bed and lay on her while she sleeps (and isn't smart enough to understand that the screaming suffocating 8 year old she's landed on is not having fun!) 

She's funny, and goofy and friendly and annoying all in a giant hairy, drooly stund ball.  Honestly, I think I would enjoy her more if I didn't have to be the "warden" all the time.  I'm frustrated by how stupborn she has been and how difficult she has been to train...and I really really miss Lucy......

I worry that Diasy will never be smart enough to just play along.  I worry that she'll never outgrow the obnoxious 115lb toddler phase.  I worry that our home is way too crazy to have brought a Saint Bernard puyppy into...but then...I see something like this...and my guard comes down for just a second  (click on "read more" to see what I see:)

A Dingo ate my baby!!! etc...

A typical afternoon at the Pospolita Ranch (dealing with the local wild life)
(Please ignore the mess in the background...Martha doesn't live here:)

While on the topic of Crayzee-May, she got to spend the day at my Mothers home while I was in Edmonton...Only 1 day though. DH got to take a field trip to the ER, and we needed somebody to Crayzee-sit, so My Mother stepped up to the plate and took the dog to her house for the day. to say I was shocked was an under statement. There hasn't been a dog in her home since old Sandy passed away, and that was easily 15 years ago! Oh no - wait...we forgot poor Lucy outside one morning and she got to spend the day in the kitchen with Dad eating jam on biscuits. Back to my point - God Love Mom for taking that on for the day, cuz she is not an animal gal. Dad is the critter lover in their home as my Mothers lifestyle does not accommodate pets. In fact - even though we always had 1 or 2 growing up...she's actually afraid of dogs! She's also quite particular about the things in her home. Needless to say, all the extra fur and drool are not on her list of likes. That said, Crayzee still managed to wriggle her way into my Mothers bedroom and made herself at home! I nearly died when I saw this picture as it's the first time any dog has ever graced my parents bed! In all 36 years of my crayzee life - I've never seen it before now! And Mom wasn't freaking out even, when she took the picture! She was...dare I say...laughing!!

*side note - I'm pretty sure she has been abducted by aliens and replaced with a host species that's masquerading as my Mom!*

And here she is!!

*Note - if you are ever in my Mothers bedroom, please don't mention that her walls are Marlboro filter yellow. Dad thinks it's funny as hell! Mom...not so much. It's a touchie subject! ;)

On a more festive note...How was your Christmas?? Mine was sleepy!! :) It went something like this...

2:41am - finally finish wrapping and get to sleep.

6:02am - Dream stealers come into my room begging to open their stockings. I consent in favore of more sleep.

7:07am - Drem Stealers send in the little one to barter for rights to open 1 small present. I consent in favor of more sleep.

8:18am - Dream Stealers are relentless - they have called teh grand parents to come over (*note - next year we will disconnect the phones*) Get up - open presents with goons.

10:00am - Presents are opened...parents leave...I go back to bed.

11:00am - Breakfast is ready next door - pry myself out of bed to go eat breakfast with teh Fam.

1:00pm - head home to take a nap.

5:30pm - woken up by oldest Dream Stealer to go to Moms for turkey sandwiches.

8:30 pm - wander home to put dream stealers to bed and wait for my sleeping pill to kick in - wheeee! :)

8:45pm - hop on computer & post pics etc. on here for all to see. :)

8:

Priceless

Getting a call at work that the dog is sick - $9 million brain cells
Having to drive home during a snow storm to get her - $68 trillion grey hairs
Finding out your Saint Bernard has a Bladder infection - $95

Knowing your husband had to collect the urine sample...Priceless! :)

OMG GO AWAY!!!

Don't get me wrong - I Love Crayzee-May but holy crap I wish she'd leave me alone! I made the mistake of picking up a bag of cheezies and am muching merrily at my computer and I can feel the heat from teh drool that is running down the back of my leg! AUGH! I tell her "off limits" - she stares - "GO AWAY!" - she stares - "Daisy GET OUT!" - she stares. Essentially, that's her newest trick weather I'm eating cheezies or not! OMG - She's driving me CRAYZEE!!!

No Saint Bernards were harmed in the making of this cake...

It's always kinda freeky when I find stuff and can't recall where it came from. I found these cake "attachments" in my cake cupboard and have no idea where I got them. (???) Oh well - I used them this weekend for a Princess cake for the CUTEST 4 year old on the planet!! :) she wanted a princess cake with ALL the princess's on it so this was perfect! When I started to build the cake, I was washing the attachments, though, and I think I'm missing 2 of the turrets, cuz there are 4 round castle roof things...but only 2 of the plastic tower wrap arounds?? Oh well - none the less, I plunked the other 2 tops on the back and it all worked out just fine :) I also got to try my hand at basket weave frosting again. It originally was flat-frosted and that was sooooper boring, so I had to add some texture. Even with the all white basket weave, it was still missing something, so I added the vines and leaves and voila! All done! :)

There was really only 1 snag...

When Lucy was around, she knew to automatically leave the kitchen the second my mixer slid out. She'd sit patiently in the next room, waiting for the odd scrap of cake carvings or frosting blobs, and when I was all done and the cake was boxed safely...she'd get to come in a "clean my floors. :) Those days are gone...

Typically, when I have a cake to do, I mix up 1 giant batch of frosting, then draw from that to mix each color 1 at a time. As they're mixed, I lay them out on the counter - side by side - until they're all bagged, and tipped and ready to use. So - I filled a bag with white for the basket weave...I turned and mixed a batch of pink-ish for the trim...I turned and mixed a batch of green for the vines...or at least - I think I did??? I piped the white basket weave, then reached for the pink. I decided to do the vines first, so that I could overlap the pink trim and hide the start of each vine. I set the pink down and reached for the green...no green!! ??!! WTH? I was positive I had mixed green!!! Hadn't I?? I looked in the sink, and there was my green bowl, scraped clean from loading the icing bag. ??! I must have put it down somewhere - but where? I looked around the kitchen, dining room, bathroom (ewe - I would never take frosting there but checked just in case) and nothing! Oh well - I'll mix some more but pipe the pink stuff first. I reach for the pink and IT'S GONE!!!!! OK - WTH?! I look all around, look under the table...I stand there baffled for 2 seconds and then it hits me - OMG! DAISY!!!!!!! I race into the living room, and there she sat, politely licking the pink and green frosting as though she were trying to woo it into submission! AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I had made an enormous batch of frosting, as I had a couple other cakes to do this weekend and wanted to make it up ahead of time...thankfully, It left enough for me to re-mix the pink and green!!! Anyway - the cake got finised in any case and I'll have to make an extra batch of frosting...I Love my Daisy-May, but I really miss the days of being able to walk away from a cake on the counter and not have to inspect it for tongue marks when I get back. :(

Fun at the water hole...

Last night, the girls and I visited a "secret swimming place for pooches".  I'd tell you where it is, but then I'd have to shoot you! :)  It's hidden, and has high banks on each side, so poochies can't escape without serious effort and...quite truthfully...why the heck would they want to??!!  Look at it!!  :) 

Daisy played for ages and ages.  She has not quite convinced herself that she can swim, but was happy to romp and play in the water and chase rocks! :) 

The girls splashed and played.  They chased minno's and tried to catch tadpoles.  A great time was had by all. 

For as long as I live, this will always crack me up!  Gotta love the crazy look in the eye of a puppy with too much skin!!  LOL

And when we left, I saw the face of a very sleepy puppy who had a terrific time!  

(We also saw millions of long and icky slugs that were phlegm yellow at one end and tranformed into a dead flesh grey at the other...S had a hysterical meltdown over the intire thing...but I tried to focus on the happy puppy cuz...well...the slugs were pretty freakin gross!  

What a difference a month makes!!

Day 1 -20ish lbs...

Day 11 - 30ish lbs...

Day 22...I'm afraid to check...

Could you say no...

To this face??

Yeah...me neether. :(

I think I broke my puppy...

I was trying to be a good Mom this morning.  Youngest kiddo wanted to go biking baaaaaad.  DH rarely lets them bike in the driveway because ours is so big and cars will often use it as a place for u-turns so it makes him super nerveous.  Anyhoo - I barrowed Dad's truck, tossed her bike in the back and DD and puppy in the back seat and off we went.  I pulled in to Garden Creek school, parked the truck and we started walking.  DD rode her bike, while Daisy and I trotted merrily behind on the sidewalk.  We walked up the road about 1 km.  Not too bad, but I figured we should probably turn around so that Daisy didn't over do it.  (She's only 14 weeks old, and we have to really watch her joints and bones until she's about 2.  Too much activity etc. can really do long term dammage.)  Well...we crossed the road so that we could walk / bike back on the (trans Canada) Trail.  It's shaded, and would be cooler for her and easier on her little paws.  We stopped along the way because it was obvious she was getting warm.  I gave her some water and let her sit for a few, but by the time we made it back to teh school on the trail side I realized that there was nowhere for me to get back to the road!  Ugh!  It was all private property with fences and very visible signs that say "NO TRESPASSING!"  Oh no!!  Baaaaaack we go to where we can cross the road and then allll the way back up on the side walk side to get back to the truck.  I'm sad to report that we put in about 5km's this morning.  Poor Daisy. :(  I did my best to go slow, and let her take her time, but that's too far for 1 little puppy.  We got back at 10:30 this morning (we were gone an hour and a half in total) and she's been asleep since we got back.  DD had a blast biking...but I think I broke my puppy. :(

Daisy-May's first road trip.

I had to work in Campbellton on Monday morning, so DH and I rented a car to drive up on Sunday.  We left around 10am, packed poochie in the back seat with all her "stuff" in the trunk (note - puppies have more junk then a toddler!!) and off we went.  I was pretty sure she'd be ok, but was still a little nerveous.  She handled the drive like a dream!!  We stopped about every hour so she could do her thing, but she hopped out and back in the car without any trouble, didn't mess or mind in between stops.  Was pleasant and polite to everyone she met and generally enjoyed every bit that she was awake for. :)  We got to the hotel and she was very well behaved.  She didn't make a single mess and layed around happily playing with her chew toys.  She trotted on her leash merrily by my side as though she had been doing it for years and had her listening ears turned on for almost the entire stay!  She went for a long walk with us at night, and got to meet a nice RCMP officer who pulled over to admire her.  Monday morning, I went to the office while DH entertained her in the hotel room.  For a brief period she lost her mind, went bat-crap crazy and nipped at a stranger.  She pulled and tugged and refused to listen and hauled DH around the parking lot and back into the hotel.  As he walked into the lobby, I walked in through the end doors, giving her a perfect line of sigt to me.  She bolted to me without a blink, leaving DH in her dust...then pranced merrily by my side back to the room on a loose leash and was a perfect lady.  (he he - atta gurl!) 

The drive home was equally uneventful.  She slept the entire way and ate her weight in kibble when we got home.  Overall - a successful road trip I think.  I would also like to report that drool wipes nicely off of rental car upholstery and puppy poop makes DH gag. :)

Life with a 12 week old Saint Bernard

Any pup I have ever had has been 8 weeks old or less.  Having a 12 week old pup is new for me.  Normally, by 12 weeks, my pups are impressively well behaved (ok - except for 1 but he was insane and I have the doctors note to prove it!) They've started to figure out the house rules, are doing better at house training and have figured out the basics of sit, lay down, no, off limits, stay (selectively of course) and have more good moments then bad.  The 12 week old pup has pretty much got the world figured out and are a tougher sell then the blinky eyed 8 week old pup who is just darn excited that the silly creature (me) is wanting to play with them! lol  Plus, a 12 week old Saint Bernard weighs about 40lbs, compared to the 15ish lbs of an 8 week old pup (note - I've always had big dogs).  When a "Saint" plants her feet and decides that she's not moving for anybody or anything...that's it!!  Just to add to the fun visual...She not only plants her feet, but when I push on her bum to get her to move - she plunks to the ground and lays down...but when I try to lift her up, she goes totally freakin limp!!!  Have you ever tried to get a totally limp 40lb puppy on its feet??  lol  I've never seen the likes of it!  And she still hasnt' figured out the stairs.  Aside from that, though, she's lovely.  She's happy and polite and patient and loves everyone.  I'm really happy that she made it to the Pospolita Ranch :)

Puppies are energetic freaks of nature!!!

Yup!  That's my girl!  Wound for sound!  Look at her go!!  Wheeeeee!!!  Did you see that blur??  She's a machine I tell ya!!  (he he - this is how she chose to spend the first half of her evening...quietly reading with friends)

And now she's asleep on the floor in kiddo's room.  And with that...I'm of to decorate a cake :) 

Chapter II - Her first day with us.

Last night was fun to say the least.  The timing to get her could not have been worse.  We are totally not ready, the house is upside down and not at all puppy-proofed!  In any case, though, she was ours and we had to deal.  The first item on the agenda was to bath our stinky girl. I filled the tub with less then 2 inches of warm-ish water, picked her up (all 40+lbs of her) and tried to place her into it...She lost her furry mind!!!  She totally flipped out, wanted nothing to do with it and had an episode equivilent to Bambi on ice!  So - I did the only thing any good Mom would do - I yanked off the yoga pants (which were coated in her pee) and hopped in the tub with her.  After that - life was good! :)  (Ignore my thighs please :)  She spent the rest of the night wandering and sniffing and being quite cute.  She tried to kill a sock - just to watch it die - but it survived just the same.  At about midnight (after several bits of cheese) she was in her kennel, snuggled in for the night...and we didn't hear a peep from her till morning!

This morning was great - no messes in her kennel!  She peed politely in the back yard and the girls put her in her crate before catching the bus.  I came home on my lunch break, expecting to see her busting to get out...she was too groggy to even care that I was there.  Even when I opened the door, she just laid there!  I drug her out (blanket and all) and we were off!  She got to go visit Daddy at work, and played with the "yard apes"...then on to Feeds n' Needs for a new collar...then to visit Kiddo's sitter before venturing into kiddo's 2nd grade classroom to meet all the kids in S's class!  She loved every minute of it and by the time we were done she was pooped!  I took her home, put her back in her crate (after a brief lesson on stairs) and that is where she has been quietly sleeping since!  Not sure what tonight will bring, but I'm sure it's bound to be full of furry cuteness!  (which will have to happen outside of the kitchen cuz Momma bear has to bake a cake!)

The Crazy Days of Daisy-May

Her Story - Chapter 1
How she came to the Pospolita Ranch;

I had to work late last night.  DH called me from home and explained that there was a litter of Saint Bernard pups on Kijiji and their price had been cut waaaaaay down because there were still a bunch left and they were already 12 weeks old.  He called the lady and made arrangements for us to go see her, so I had to head home right away.  Ugh - that's crazy!  A Saint Bernard??  Are you kidding me??!!  Oh well - like a good wife, I hopped in the car and drove home.  Picked him and youngest kiddo up and off we went to visit the nearly giant puppies. 

We pulled in the driveway and got to meet the Dad first.  He was GORGEOUS!!!  He was enormous, but more stalky and rugged - heavy looking, not huge.  Smaller then Lucy - but his head was the same size as a smart car!!  And he was so gentle it was amazing!

Then we went inside...

2 females left, and 1 was in the kitchen.  She was really cute, but feisty and kinda jumpy and really didn't pay much attention to me at all.  Then they brought in the 2nd one...and that's all it took.  I was sitting on the floor and within 2 seconds, she had shoved half of her body into my lap and dove her had into my arms...then she peed...then she wagged her tail and sprayed pee all over me...and that's how I knew she was mine. :) 

Plans change...

And boy am I glad they did! 

I would like to officially introduce you to Miss Daisy-May Pospolita.  She is the newest member of our Family and I'm so in Love with her it's not even funny!!!  Welcome to the Pospolita Ranch kiddo!  :)