Good Bye dear friend.

Lucinda May Pospolita

March 2006 - April 2010

Go with God my dear dear friend.  My heart will never be the same.

On a long road with Lucy...

The last time I got an official weight on Lucy was well over a year ago.  She weighed 117lbs!!  She was 2 and a half at that time and I figured that she had stopped growing...and truthfully, it didn't matter how big she got after that cuz any more then 120lbs was showing off! lol

She had lost a bunch of weight when she got sick, but was too weak to put her on the scale.  The following Tuesday, though, she was improving enough that she was able to hop on on her own.  I was expecting a drop...the drop, though, was me hitting the floor!!  146lbs!!!!!  I couldn't believe it!!!  Her spirits had been up, but the next day it all cam to a stop.  By Friday she was very quiet.  Her blood levels were barely up and her immune system had kicked back in...she had also gained 4lbs and was now at 150lbs!!  We upped her sterroids over the weekend...but she hasn't improved and today is at 158lbs!!!  The weight gain alone is scary enough, but in the mean time, she has become slower and way less mobile.  She's still eating and drinking...but her breathing is forced and she's no longer coming downstairs or making efforts to be where we are.  Plus - she's soo full of fluid that her middle is like a giant tight barrel - I'm uncomfortable just petting her - she's so full.  They did more bloodwork today and the sterroids aren't enough...so...they are putting her on chemo drugs to help the sterroids do their thing, plus a fluid pill to help get some of the excess fluid off and are going to do an ultrasound of her spleen and liver (in case it's cancer)...They are keeping her for the rest of today, and tomorrow morning she has to go back in for the day for observation.

I feel numb and dead inside and so sad I can't even begin to explain.  I know I'm reaching the point where I will have to make a decision...but I just can't bare the thought.  How do you draw that line?  I know that it boils down to quality of life...but the treatment isn't making her worse - it's just not making her better. And when she looks at me with those huge brown eyes, and wags her tail just cuz I rubbed her cheek...How can I let that go?  I'm really hoping I get that miracle I've been praying for cuz the alternative is tearing me apart inside..   

Everything hurts

I spent the better part of the afternoon doing yard work.  Everything looks sooo much better, but how come my everything has to hurt because of it! :(  Maybe I'm getting old... *sigh* 

How could I not fall in Love??

This video was taken in June of 2006. Both of my girls were so little...and Lucy - How could I not fall in Love?

My first Cake Wreck...

This weekend just wen't from bad to badder. I had my first cake wreck on Saturday. I've avoided all "oops's" in the passed, and I should be glad that this "oops" happenned for kiddo's BFF - who was thrilled just the same but crap! What was I thinking??! In hind sight - I was too distracted by Lucy to even think about baking a cake but it was a distraction in any case. Originally - the sheep was upright - on legs. A half round pound cake supported by a thick plastic dowel that ran top to bottom. When the base (or legs) split up the middle, though, I should have changed course...but I din't. I also should have considered that few cakes are any match for the Kingsley Rd...Anyhow - Here is what my sheep cake looked like by the time she made it to the Party...A little tipsy and her chest split. You can see where she used to have feet...and when we cut her - she fell totally over. The end result - my first ever Zombie Sheep Cake. It went from Bad to Baaaaaah-der...ugh. Thankfully, she was delicious! :) Nex time...no legs!

Hemolytic Anemia

Hemolytic Anemia is what my Lucy has. Antibodies attached to all of her red blood cells, and freaked out her immune system, so every red blood cell with an antibody attached will be destroyed. The vet put her on sterroids to shut down her immune system, and her body is working double time to reproduce her entire body's supply of blood. Because she has such a small amount of red blood cells she's not getting much oxygen and really needs a transfusion. For now, we're hoping her body will kick in to overdrive and recover without because with DH's meds...that's not a choice I can afford to make. She made it downstairs tonight, for the first time in almost a week! She's brighter, and more interrested in the world around her...but she has absolutely no stamina and sleeps alot. Her breathing slowed down - which I'm told is an excellent sign. She's only eating a tuna size can of dog food a day, though...which isn't much for a 120lbs dog! We have more bloodwork scheduled for 9:30am (Yes - on a Sunday) and are going to continue praying 1 day at a time. She is only 4 years old...I hadn't planned on a good-bye for at least 10 years. God willing - I can keep that plan.

Please pray for Lucy

It's hard to type without sobbing so I have to keep this short and sweet. Lucy is at the vet. She has less then a 40% chance of making it over this "hump". For no appearant reason, her immune system has decided to attack her red blood cells and organs and without treatement she will not survive. With treatment - there is no guarantee. My heart is broken...please - if you have a prayer in you - please please send one up for my Lucinda May.

Saying Goodbye to Green Village

Green Village is closing its doors after more then 20 years of business. It is going to be so sad to not have them around. They have been a big part of life for my girls and I. No more strolling for annuals on Mothers Day. No more impromptu visits for "gourmet ice cream" with the fruit pieces on top. No more hours spent quietly in the butterfly house in hopes that the blue one will take flight. No more lizard staring, no more conversations with Morgan the parrot. No more giant goldfish in the huge aquarium. No more baby bunnies at easter time or 5 cent wishes in the un-wishing pond...No more whimsical clearance sale items or fun garden finds. It just doesn't seem right. I know that you don't realize just how important something is until it's gone…and it seems silly to have such an attachment to a "business" but this one will be hard to let go of.

Take III

I just baked another Chocolate Cream Pie! lol That's 3 pies in 3 days!! I think I may have a problem...

What a weekend!

I can't believe it's almost 10pm on Sunday already! The weekend flew by! Friday night, M spent the night with Noonie and Papa so DH and I took S to see "How to train your dragon"...OMG! It's sooo freakin great! I totally want a pet dragon now! lol Saturday morning, S let me sleep in, but I got up around 9ish, showered etc. and bummed Moms car to run in town. The pigs needed shavings and we needed groceries. Saturday afternoon, S and I spent in the kitchen. All by her 7 year old self, she made over 60 won ton's for won ton soup!! I made a HUGE batch of Borsch and after dinner I tried my hand at a chocolate cream pie - yumm! Today, up and attem - S had violin lessons. We went out for breakfast at the Dip first...then swung by M's after to pick up a cake pan and brown yarn...I got hom and laundry laundry laundry...and when I wasn't doing laundry, I was in the kitchen - 60 perogies, another pie and a HUGE mess to clean up...twice! I just finished cleaning the kitchen again - ugh...and now I'm tired and about to enjoy my pie. I think I'll end all future weekends with pie! That can't be bad - right?

Update - Chocolate Cream Pie

I have to say...it was pretty good! :) Having Meringue on a chocolate cream pie was different, but the crust turned out fine! (Yay for chocolate pie crust!) The Meringue was yummy and once it was all together (and I wasn't eating the chocolate crud that I scraped from teh bottom of my burnt pot) it didn't taste burnt at all!! Soooo - today, I'll try it again...and this time, I'll use butter instead of margering and I'll extend my crust further off of my pan so that it doesnt shrink and hopefully...It will all work out again! Cuz I also plan to make perogies today and I think that Chocolate Cream pie will be a lovely chaser to Borsch and Perogies!! :)

Chocolate Cream Pie & Papa

When I was growing up, my Papa had mad skills in the kitchen. He was a cook in WWII. At 6'6.5" tall he joked that he was "too big to put on the front lines". When I went to summer camp, he was the cook. They called him "shorty". All the cabins would compete to see who would win the grand prize...Bana-splitz at the end of the week! The other cabins got lemon meringue (My favorite!) so I always tried hard to lose. Papa was always great at baking pies too! Coconut cream and chocolate cream, lemon meringue...all 4 inches deep with 3 foot golden peaks on top. I wish I would have been smart enough to remember all the amazing things he tried to teach me years ago. Tonight, though, I tried my hand at chocolate cream pie. I found the recipe in an cook book that I open all the time but never use except for 1 recipe. I could never get a recipe from Papa because it was all in his head...he could never cook for 2...he had spent too many years cooking for hundreds! lol He tried to teach me how to make pie crust once but I could never figure it out and I'm pretty sure I still suck at it! I've also always had lousey luck with Meringue and this recipe had both. Crust and Meringue...I wont' comment on the crust part till I try it. I'm also pretty sure I burnt the chocolate, but DH says it's awesome. As for the Meringue...I aced it!! I had fun baking my first pie and I'm pretty sure I could hear Papa in my kitchen - reminding me that my egg whites had to be room temperature and be sure to mix at high speed. That my butter had to be cold...then shaking his head at me when he saw that I used margerine...

Gawd I miss him.

Not meant to have my coffee!

This morning was crazy...DH had an appointment so I had to take the bus to work. I like the bus...nobody calls me Mommy and I can work on my crochet project. The down side, though, is that I don't get to stop at Tim's on my way to work. But - my next best is that I can totally swing by Tim's on my walk to the office from where the bus stops! SCORE! Yeah...not so much! I got there this morning and it was lined up out the door! I waited for about 5 minutes - nothing was moving so I left and walked to work. My office is accross the street, so I can go back around 9am and grab a coffee - right?? WRONG!! I just got back empty handed...the line up was clear out to the stinkin sidewalk! I didn't even bother crossing the street!

Ugh...I reeely need a coffee! :(

Fishy Princess cake & Friend!!!

Here she is!! The first of my 2 cake weekend. She was a ton of fun, and quite different from the Barbie cakes that I normally do. I'm even pleased with her seashell bra! lol Kiddo was quite concerned until the belly was covered! :) She felt that Barbie should have more covering her middle then just seashells on her "boobies"!

So the rest of her went together quite nicely I think. Lots of pink and purple...just like the birthday girl asked! :) I tossed in the blue - just cuz I like the color. I'm embarassed to say, though...the cake was dry! :(

Here she is from the front...

The side...

And the back...but...the next cake!! The next cake is my newest favorite of all time faves!!! It really was a Whale of a cake!!! :) How freakin adorable is he!!! Oh - I should clarify - this is the arial view of his "blow hole" :) he he - can you believe that kiddo at the party actually said "I wanna eat the blow hole!" True story!

If the top view isn't enough to sell you on this little guy - how bout that killer smile?? :) I just love those perley whites!! :) Don't you??

So here he is...in all his glory! One very happy looking purple whale! The only trouble is that now...both my girls want Whale cakes for the rest of their lives!! lol